Square Shotgun

If Dick Cheney and Kim Jong Il squared off in a climatic one on one battle, who would win?

My opinion: “Dead-eye Dick” Cheney would show up armed with a shotgun, Kim Jong “Mentally Il” would show up armed with a Typodong 2 missle.
Cheney would be plastered off Jack Daniels, and, being the horrible shot that he is, he would end up (air quotes) accidentally (end air quotes) shooting an old man.
Crazed Jongy would fire his Typodong 2, and being the piece of crap missle that it is, would land 30,000 miles off target and land in the ocean.
Both these lunatics would then realize how alike they really are, and end up being good friends, drinking Koren scotch on the weekends laughing it up while watching Dubya stumble around the world acting like a dunce.

Climatic? They’re going to beat each other up with hot air? I love it.

But, seriously, if they had their climactic confrontation, the climax would likely be that they both would walk away unscathed, because they both lied about wanting to fight in the first place. Or because they both cheated.

You’re right — they probably would end up the best of buddies.

Shotgun shack redux: mortgage-free in 320 square feet